3 ways to deal with your anger, before your anger deals with you...

It’s that cringe feeling of knowing that you allowed an issue to take that much control of you.  It’s knowing that you lost sight of who you were and more importantly, “Who’s” you were.

There isn’t a person with a pulse who doesn’t get angry.  We all have seasons where people and events push us into a state of irritation and annoyance.  However, I know in my own life that sometimes my episodes of anger can become counterproductive. 
 
I recall a time in my own life when my anger affected my preaching and even my parenting.  I was distant, short, irritable, and unfortunately mean.  In the aftermath, I have to admit that I honestly feel a great deal of shame for this season.  Granted, I’m not there much; however, you don’t have to be there much to know what I mean. 
 
It’s that cringe feeling of knowing that you allowed an issue to take that much control of you.  It’s the reality of knowing that you lost sight of who you were and more importantly, “Who’s” you were.  
 
The Bible tells us in James 1:20, “Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.”(NLT)  I know, I know.  We are all too familiar with the separation of anger and sin in Ephesians 4:26, and I know that passion in and of itself isn't sinning.  However, we can’t miss the fact that God is on to something powerful and essential in James 1.
 
Hate it or love it, being human means that in my anger, I am far more prone to doing wrong than I am right.  Therefore, I think the thing that we really need more than anything is a strategy for dealing with anger.  In other words, how can I become more intentional about dealing with my passion, before allowing my anger to deal with me?
 
Well, today I’d like to share 3 angles for approaching anger!   

• Don’t do anything IMMEDIATELY:  In other words, when you find yourself in the initial thick of anger, your only job at this point should be to keep your peace.  And trust me, that’s a job in and of itself.  This is when you’ll deal with feeling like you’re weak for not seeking vengeance.  You’ll ruminate on what you should have done or said to get even.  You’ll go through a lot of things internally; however, you’ll avoid the repercussions of things done externally.  The Bible says in Proverbs 12:16 that, “A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted.”(NLT)  I’d go further, but I think you get it.
• Remember your life is not your own:  I recall a friend of mine allowing me to house sit for her.  I remember the tedious manner in which I dealt with everything.  I put coasters down.  I was very particular with cleaning, and under NO circumstances would I allow anyone into the house that she didn’t approve of.  Why? Because that wasn’t my house.  You see, we become (or at least we should) extra careful when dealing with things that belong to other people, especially people we care about.  I know that I drive rental cars different than I drive my own car, and I very much know the reason why.  Family, allow this to be your thought concerning your life in your next moment of anger.  As a believer, I understand that my life is not my own; therefore, I should strive to live like it.
• Pray for Productive Revelation:  Now, I must forewarn you that I may lose some of you on this one.  However, I think a good way to deal with anger, is to pray for productive revelation.  Call me “crazy” if you want, but I’m one of those people who believe that there is something positive gained from every instance in life.  I recall a time when someone dear to me, abandoned me in a time of need.  While I was honestly upset, I decided to do something different.  I decided to pray for productive revelation.  I prayed for God to show me how this event would add value to me.  Would I become stronger?  Would I learn a lesson?  Would I become more cautious?  Whatever it was didn’t matter, I just made the objective a positive one, rather than a vengeful one.  Well, the positive revelation became clear; as I soon learned that I was actually depending on the friend to do something, which I thought I couldn’t do on my own.  This season of undesired separation forced me to step forward and I learned that when forced to perform, I actually did well.  With that I looked at the situation not with a vengeful eye, but with a Godly & providential eye.  The Bible says in Romans 8:28, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”(NLT)  Seeing the providential power helped me replace anger with awareness. 

 
So, what did you think?  Was this helpful?  What did I miss?  How are you struggling with anger?  Do you disagree with any of the aforementioned points?  Which point registered with you the most?  Let me know in the comments below.  Subscribe to the blog and as always, thanks for your support. 
 
Kevin D. Jones, Sr.
(@kevindjonessr)