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Networking for Introverts!  (Post #42)

5/7/2018

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"Your new best friend or the person who could be the answer to your biggest problem could be in that room.  HOWEVER, your fears are keeping you silent.  Or worse, they’re keeping you AWAY from a blessing."'
So, today I’m beginning to own my own case of social awkwardness.  
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Now, don’t go too far, I’m not crippled by crowds.  After all, I can hold it together in a social setting.  However, if I’m being all the way honest, I’ll admit that I’m definitely not a fan of the unknown social settings, nor do I enjoy venues that require you to meet and engage people that you don’t know.  

Fact:  Ministry allows me to mask this struggle.  When people come to the church where I serve, they encounter me in what I call “my element” (I love how I quoted that like I invented it.)  They find me in my comfort zone.  This can easily leave a person feeling like “this guy is what I wish I was in social settings.”  And maybe, that could be true - for them.

However, if you were to take me out of that place, and place me in a new place, without a known face, and I’m instantly and unfortunately transformed.  My mind takes over and the very space I found to be comforting, I now find to be challenging. Thus, I typically stay to myself, keeping me and every gift God has given me away from anyone in attendance.

Why is this a problem?  

The problem with this is simple. My fears rob others of having a chance to take advantage of what God is doing in me.  

In a room full of people, think of the possibilities:  people to encourage, network with, advise, learn from, connect with, and all sorts of things.  Your new best friend or the person who could be the answer to your biggest problem could be in that room.  HOWEVER, your fears are keeping you silent.  Or worse, they’re keeping you AWAY from a blessing. 

In your silence and/or absence, all that God has placed in you remains bottled up. And, my prayers of today are to declare that this can’t continue, this is no good.  This mentality must be reversed, and we have to start now.   

So, to help us along the way, I’d like to provide you all with 5 tips that will aid your communication process.  

  1. Connect with People Who Aren’t Connected:  Fact, I’ve found that the sweat of social settings is getting into an already established conversation.  However, a hidden gem can be found in people like you.  Seek out others who aren’t connected, introduce, and maybe even find the disconnection as a comedic commonality.  You’d be surprised how two people, can (in time) turn into a group all its own.  
  2. Groups are Good, Glue is Not:  As you find a connection, enjoy it.  However, be aware of social signs.  If the conversation is dying down, it’s probably best to keep things cordial, and politely step away.  The goal isn’t to hide your struggle, it’s to face it.  
  3. When in Doubt, Write it Out:  Consider where you’re going to be, and during this consideration, think of what you’d potentially ask.  For example: I plan to attend a lectureship this year.  I may want to prepare questions relating to areas of ministry that I need improvement on.  In preparation, I’d craft questions that probe into problematic areas, that allow my potential connection to pour into me from their expertise.  This way, when we talk, I grow and face my fears at the same time.
  4. Listening is Key:  I know it’s often viewed as vanity, but here’s a fact – most people like to talk.  Now, if you’re listening to a ‘brag-fest’ that may become tiring.  However, if you’re in a room with professional peers, listening could be career boosting. Ask your questions and ask about them.  People are loaded with unexpected greatness that upon hearing may blow your mind. After all, sometimes the fear of talking, doesn’t have to be a fear at all.   
  5. Talk to God before you Talk to Them:  Saving the best for last.  The Bible reminds us in James 1:5, “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”(NASB).Before you step into that conference room, go into a private area and speak honestly to your Heavenly Father about your struggles and anxiety.  Ask Him for guidance, leadership, discernment, and courage.  Nothing changes your situation, quite like giving your situation to your Savior.  
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So, what did you think?  What did I miss?  What would you add?  Let me know in the comments below.  Subscribe on the home page, share this post, and thanks for your support.  
 
Imperfectly,
 
Kevin D. Jones, Sr.
(@kevindjonessr)
(@imperfection360)
10 Comments
Reachel McWhorter
5/7/2018 08:42:17 am

Awesome post. I read it like yep that’s totally me. Funny thing is I originally chose my career because I felt like I could make a huge impact without being seen or dealing with people because I am very much so an introvert. However, the further I get into my career and furthering my education quickly showed me that networking, dealing with large crowds and presentations were going to be real for me. I typically avoid networking events like the black plaque. My MBA program definitely forced me out of my comfort zone. I said all this to say I appreciate the tips above and I actually use the talk to God before you talk to them tip. I typically pray before every presentation because the anxiety kicks in full throttle and prayer allows me to clear my mind and relax at least until my presentation is over. Thanks for the insight. 🙏🏾

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K. Jones, Sr.
5/7/2018 08:45:12 am

Excellent feedback. Thanks so much for your comment Reachel. I pray we both grow in this area. Blessings. #PerfectlyImperfect

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Ahmand
5/7/2018 08:46:23 am

It’s great to be back online and to do it at this opportunity was even better. I am like that ambient ambivert. I can be totally extroverted but some times I feel introverted. These tips, especially #5 will help out.

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K. Jones, Sr.
5/7/2018 08:48:22 am

My brother. I’m glad you’re online as well. Thanks for the support. Blessings! #PerfectlyImperfect

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DeMarkus Grayson-Rhule
5/7/2018 10:53:36 am

This post was meant for me my brother. I constantly find myself in a state of social awkwardness, almost to a debilitating manner. I will definitely use these tips to my advantage so that God is able to use me and I can learn from those that God puts in my path. I always found it interesting that I felt the call to minister and to be a therapist, but I have found that within these career choices God is helping me overcome my awkwardness. Thank you for post and keep them coming.

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K. Jones, Sr.
5/7/2018 12:22:06 pm

I totally agree my brother. I guess, this post was for us. LOL! Thanks for the encouragement. Please share the post. Blessings. #PerfectlyImperfect

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Julia Cole
5/7/2018 11:38:42 am

As always Kevin great advice & you know I just go in on a good laugh to break things up. 😀 Continue blessing us with your knowledge & spreading God's word. Be Blessed ❤

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K. Jones, Sr.
5/7/2018 12:24:44 pm

Thanks so much for the love. Blessings. #PerfectlyImperfect

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Jennifer link
5/8/2018 09:13:12 am

This is awesome. I feel a little less anxious now. This is a great reference page!

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K. Jones, Sr.
5/8/2018 09:17:34 am

Thanks for the encouragement Jennifer. I am glad that it was helpful to you. Share the love, share the post with a friend. Blessings. #PerfectlyImperfect

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    Kevin D. Jones, Sr.

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