Networking for Introverts! (Post #42)

"Your new best friend or the person who could be the answer to your biggest problem could be in that room.  HOWEVER, your fears are keeping you silent.  Or worse, they’re keeping you AWAY from a blessing."'

So, today I’m beginning to own my own case of social awkwardness.  
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Now, don’t go too far, I’m not crippled by crowds.  After all, I can hold it together in a social setting.  However, if I’m being all the way honest, I’ll admit that I’m definitely not a fan of the unknown social settings, nor do I enjoy venues that require you to meet and engage people that you don’t know.  

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Fact:  Ministry allows me to mask this struggle.  When people come to the church where I serve, they encounter me in what I call “my element” (I love how I quoted that like I invented it.)  They find me in my comfort zone.  This can easily leave a person feeling like “this guy is what I wish I was in social settings.”  And maybe, that could be true - for them.

However, if you were to take me out of that place, and place me in a new place, without a known face, and I’m instantly and unfortunately transformed.  My mind takes over and the very space I found to be comforting, I now find to be challenging. Thus, I typically stay to myself, keeping me and every gift God has given me away from anyone in attendance.

Why is this a problem?  

The problem with this is simple. My fears rob others of having a chance to take advantage of what God is doing in me.  

In a room full of people, think of the possibilities:  people to encourage, network with, advise, learn from, connect with, and all sorts of things.  Your new best friend or the person who could be the answer to your biggest problem could be in that room.  HOWEVER, your fears are keeping you silent.  Or worse, they’re keeping you AWAY from a blessing. 

In your silence and/or absence, all that God has placed in you remains bottled up. And, my prayers of today are to declare that this can’t continue, this is no good.  This mentality must be reversed, and we have to start now.   

So, to help us along the way, I’d like to provide you all with 5 tips that will aid your communication process.  

1. Connect with People Who Aren’t Connected:  Fact, I’ve found that the sweat of social settings is getting into an already established conversation.  However, a hidden gem can be found in people like you.  Seek out others who aren’t connected, introduce, and maybe even find the disconnection as a comedic commonality.  You’d be surprised how two people, can (in time) turn into a group all its own.  
2. Groups are Good, Glue is Not:  As you find a connection, enjoy it.  However, be aware of social signs.  If the conversation is dying down, it’s probably best to keep things cordial, and politely step away.  The goal isn’t to hide your struggle, it’s to face it.  
3. When in Doubt, Write it Out:  Consider where you’re going to be, and during this consideration, think of what you’d potentially ask.  For example: I plan to attend a lectureship this year.  I may want to prepare questions relating to areas of ministry that I need improvement on.  In preparation, I’d craft questions that probe into problematic areas, that allow my potential connection to pour into me from their expertise.  This way, when we talk, I grow and face my fears at the same time.
4. Listening is Key:  I know it’s often viewed as vanity, but here’s a fact – most people like to talk.  Now, if you’re listening to a ‘brag-fest’ that may become tiring.  However, if you’re in a room with professional peers, listening could be career boosting. Ask your questions and ask about them.  People are loaded with unexpected greatness that upon hearing may blow your mind. After all, sometimes the fear of talking, doesn’t have to be a fear at all.   
5. Talk to God before you Talk to Them:  Saving the best for last.  The Bible reminds us in James 1:5, “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”(NASB).Before you step into that conference room, go into a private area and speak honestly to your Heavenly Father about your struggles and anxiety.  Ask Him for guidance, leadership, discernment, and courage.  Nothing changes your situation, quite like giving your situation to your Savior.  
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So, what did you think?  What did I miss?  What would you add?  Let me know in the comments below.  Subscribe on the home page, share this post, and thanks for your support.  
 
Imperfectly,
 
Kevin D. Jones, Sr.
(@kevindjonessr)
(@imperfection360)