Molded by 39 Year of Life, 17 Years of Marriage, and 6 Years of Ministry (Post #68)

"Still, in the spirit of our community, I have learned the power of acknowledging that I am indeed a Perfectly Imperfect Perfectionist who serves a Perfect God, Who's always perfecting me."

December is always a particular month for me.  Naturally, I enjoy all of the typical things that most people love about the month.  The crisp feel of cold weather, the joy of Christmas time, and the pending start of a new year.  However, this month is always extra special for me.  The month of December carries a few commemorative celebrations that I uniquely enjoy.  

Here are a few of the most significant:

• December 22, 1980 is the date of my birth.  This past Sunday (for those who didn't do the math), I celebrated turning 39 years old (my last year before the big 40)
• December 12, 19%# is the date in which my wife was born.  This year she turned (I plead the fifth) years old.
• December 23, 2002 is the date that I married my wife.  Yesterday we celebrated 17 years of marriage. 
• December 22, 2013, was the date in which I officially began my ministry at the Pembroke Park Church of Christ in Pembroke Park, FL.  On my birthday, I also commemorated 6 years of congregational ministry, with a total of 13 years of ministry in totality. 

 
As of this writing, I am mere hours past the completion of all of these annual celebrations.  39 years of life, 17 years of marriage, and 6 years of ministry.  When I sat down at my laptop, I contemplated what I'd write about.  I knew that I had to be reflective of my experiences, or at a minimum, celebratory of these recent events.   Without question, I know that  I am blessed.  God has been wonderfully good to me, and all that I have is because of Him and His goodness.

"As of this writing, I am mere hours past the completion of all of these annual celebrations.  39 years of life, 17 years of marriage, and 6 years of ministry."

Then it hit me.  I understood that the very best thing that I could do with this writing was being honest, open, and vulnerable.  I decided that I would share with you all the lessons that each of these advancements taught me.  I'd unpack how reflectively they've shaped me and even more important, how they've forced me to be better.  Today, I'll share how each of these, from the eldest to the earliest, provided me with some much-needed insight.  In this share, I pray it aids you. 
 

• 39 Years of Life:  Yikes.  Can't lie, this one has taught me a lot.  Undoubtedly I'll admit that this year was a bruiser.  My walk towards 39 taught me that in all my preaching about faith, I've long been a worrier.  This worry would rob me of my joy, my peace of mind, my optimism, my ambition, and even my quality of life.  I would allow it to provoke depression, stifle my productivity, and void me of a natural "presence" in everyday life.  This 38th year taught me that it's absolutely necessary to have a great walk with God, and also a good therapist.  I learned that there is absolutely no shame in therapy, and I've since become an advocate for combining both counseling and Christianity.  As I move towards 40 (yes 40 years old), my focus for 2020 is to take life one NOW at a time, to enjoy life daily, to trust that God is always in control even when things seem out of control, and to relax.  God reminds me often in His Word that worry is worthless; in 39 years, I can honestly say, that He was right all along. 
• 17 Year of Marriage:  This may sound odd; however, I pray you'll hear me out entirely.  I believe that marriage is a God-ordained institution, and He has made all things perfect.  However, if my counsel was ever requested on the matter, I'm assured that I would discourage anyone from getting married at the age of 22.  This counsel isn't an indictment on marriage; instead, it's an indictment on 22.  I say that because I literally got married 1 day after my 22nd birthday.  At the age of 22, I was in the Army, fast-tracking in promotions, and thinking about my career.  I felt that having a job, a place to live, and a relationship with God was enough to hit a marital home-run.  I would soon learn that I was absolutely wrong.  I would go on to learn that in the field of marriage, I knew next to nothing.  I didn't see the value of communication, honesty, transparency, and vulnerability.  I'd go on to learn that marriage was never about someone else making you happy; instead, marriage is about partnering with someone to live life in love, while endeavoring to own your own happiness.  Marriage humbled me.  I realized that you don't master it; instead, you allow it and the Master to mold you.  It took me 17 years to understand that the greatest gift you have in marriage isn't flowers, jewelry, couple photos, or even romantic trips.  The greatest gift that you have in marriage is a unified commitment to love, prayer, and faith.  As I move towards 18, my focus in 2020 will be giving more considerable portions of my marriage to God in prayer.  To get out of God's Way and allow the Lord to step in and take over.  I'm convinced that I wasted a lot of time and peace thinking I had all the answers.  I pray to spend the rest of the time God gives me, trusting that only He has the answers. 
• 6 Years of Ministry:  That number doesn't sound like a lot; however, it feels like it is.  My walk towards 6 years of ministry proved that I wasn't as strong as I thought, I wasn't as smart as I thought, and I wasn't as "in charge" as I thought.  6 years of ministry (at this church, with 13 years total) proved that ministry is 10% preaching and 90% relationships.  This lesson was harsh because I'd go on to learn that relationships were hardly my strong suit.  6 years of ministry would teach me the power of in-depth Bible study, and a consistent reliance upon a community.  Ministry is a unique job.  It's one that can quickly isolate you, thanks to the fact that you're called to be a self-starter at least 85% of the time.  Therefore, these 6 years have taught me the power of accountability, maintaining a schedule, developing a routine, and implementing proper time management.  I'd also learn (and I'm still learning) to delegate, conversate, and (most importantly) appreciate the people you serve with.  As I move towards 7, I gladly own that I haven't mastered any of these areas listed.  Also, in 2020 I'll begin the pursuit of my Master of Divinity in Leadership from Liberty University.  I've decided to do this because I feel as if I've hit a ceiling of sorts, and I know to seek counsel to surpass it humbly.  I will watch and pray, read and pray, study and pray, and serve and pray.  And I'll also pray.  God has called me to minister to His people; notwithstanding, this call won't be achieved by my grades, but by His Grace.  

"It took me 17 years to understand that the greatest gift you have in marriage isn't flowers, jewelry, couple photos, or even romantic trips.  The greatest gift that you have in marriage is a unified commitment to love, prayer, and faith."

I could go on and on about all three of these topics.  I'm assured after I read this, I'll wish I said something else or nothing at all.  Still, in the spirit of our community, I have learned the power of acknowledging that I am indeed a Perfectly Imperfect Perfectionist who serves a Perfect God, Who's always perfecting me.  

Kevin D. Jones, Sr.

Author and Publisher of Perfectly Imperfect Perfectionist
(@kevindjonessr)
(@imperfection360)