No, Mental Illness is NOT Trendy! (Post #63)

"However, until we start a dialogue with the uninformed who hope to become allies, I believe it will never be trendy, only tragic."

It has been said that the conversation about “mental illness” in the 21st century, is one that’s become trendy and chic. 
 
Yeah (sigh), okay.
 
In fairness, I understand why such a thought may exist.  I believe this notion stands because for the first time in our western society, conversations about mental health are actually happening, and (even better) they’re accepted.  No, we aren’t talking about mental health now because it’s some new phenomenon.  Make no mistake about it, I believe that the need to address mental health, has been a real-world matter for as long as mankind has been in existence. 

Consider this.  Adam and Eve were living in an utter utopia.  They were in the highest level of comfort, free from sin, relaxed in the nude, surrounded by God perfected produce, fearless of the lion, and able to enjoy voice to voice communion with God.  However, in the matter of one fall, they found themselves suffering with shame, evicted, burdened with barren land, and in a now fractured relationship with God.  Not to mention, shortly after their expulsion from Eden, their first-born child, would then violently kill their second child, and as a result, become a fugitive. 
 
Trust me, if there were ever candidates for issues with mental health; for potential dealings with PTSD, anxiety, and depression, I think it would be fair to assume that the first couple might have benefited from therapy. 
 
Yes, I’m convinced that mental illness goes way back.  However, in the year of 2019, we are actually talking about it, writing about it, reading about it, and welcoming the exchange, in ways unseen in times past.  Nonetheless, I still personally refuse to call it trendy, because there still remains a number of needed conversations that haven’t taken place.  Specifically, the ones that need to happen between people who are free from mental illness, about the truth concerning mental illness. 

"Trust me, if there were ever candidates for issues with mental health; for potential dealings with PTSD, anxiety, and depression, I think it would be fair to assume that the first couple might have benefited from therapy."

Think about it.
 
True trends are those that provoke the uninformed to want to be informed.  It’s when people joyously asked, “so what does ‘lit’ mean?”  Or, when they kept TRYING to ‘dab,’ or when they considered it discovery and asked, “hey, have you heard of the Migos?”  It was when people met ‘Hard Knock Life JAY-Z’ when we all-the-while knew ‘Reasonable Doubt’ Jigga.  The trend isn’t truly trending until the uninformed desired to be informed. 
 
Namely asking, how can those who are free from this problem, actually become intrigued enough to want to help those who are struggling with it? 
 
How do we make this happen?  We must cultivate a desire for dialogue.  We must invite them into the truth. 

"The trend isn’t truly trending until the uninformed desired to be informed."

However, for it to be successful, there must be guidance placed for this role.  To help with that, I’ve provided seven of the many ways to aid them in their role establishment:
 

• Listen to Those who are “In the Trenches”:  Make no mistakes about it, this rule is actually #1.  One of the greatest components of any good conversation is listening.  However, in the spaces of many mental health conversations, I find that this isn’t happening nearly as much as it should.  This means, if you had the choice to ask a question about mental illness, or assume that you know about mental illness, I pray you know there is only one right answer provided above.  Listen to understand, even if you can’t personally relate.
• Educate Yourself:  If you’ve ever been the lone black employee in an all-white office, then you’ll understand this next point.  At some point, you get tired of being treated like you’re the black encyclopedia.  Sure, dialogue is important; however, it’s imperative that you know that personal research is free and it’s a sign of respect.  Consider any job interview you’ve gone on.  One of the best signs of a favored candidate is one that actually took the time to learn about the company and its mission, even before the interview began.  I assure you, bosses appreciate personal education, black people appreciate personal education, and yes, those with mental illness certainly do appreciate personal education. 
• Don’t Try to Repair Them:  This one is self-explanatory; however, I’ll expound.  Don’t try to repair them, mend them, fix them, heal them, cure them, diagnose them, or treat them.  As an ally, you must understand that your calling isn’t “savior.”  Rather, it’s “support.”  Trust me, that’s all you’ll ever need to be, and being that is more than enough.
• Don’t Minimize their Experiences:  You can’t tell a person who has depression, how you deal with feeling down.  And you can’t tell a person who has anxiety, about how you deal with calming down.  Why?  Well, consider this.  Envision a driving instructor, who was talking down to his student about how easy it is for him to parallel park a car.  Envision that he goes on to insult the student’s lack of ability and states that he doesn’t even get why he just can’t get it done. Now, envision that the student is legally blind.  When it doubt, shut ya’ mouth, and defer back to rule #1.
• Encourage Self-Care:  One of the hallmark responses to mental illness is and should be self-care.  By definition, it’s “the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health.”  However, it’s often the case that the person in the midst of the challenging situation either doesn’t believe in or feel worthy of self-care.  As an outside ally, it’s important for you to not only validate the need for self-care, but to also urge and encourage it.
• Be a Source of Encouragement:  Fact – people fear what they don’t understand.  That’s why mental illness allies must become educated.  Because, only after being educated can anyone truly be supportive. And one of the best means of support is encouragement. Remind them that they are not alone, that God is more than able, and tell them you love them. 
• Pray:  The Bible says in Philippians 4:6-7, “(6) Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (7) And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”(ESV)

 
In closing, it’s important to note that the current participants in the mental illness dialogue have typically been the suffering, the specialists, and the supporters.  However, until we start a dialogue with the uninformed who hope to become allies, I believe it will never be trendy, only tragic. 
 
The word ‘TREND’ is defined as ‘a general direction in which something is developing or changing.’  I personally believe that it is possible for this topic to be trendy; however, when it is, let’s work to make it a positive and beautiful one like PAY IT FORWARD, BLACK GIRL MAGIC, or WWJD.  This way, we allow the subject to impact all people in a positive way. 
 
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Imperfectly,

Kevin D. Jones, Sr.

Author and Publisher of Perfectly Imperfect Perfectionist
(@kevindjonessr)
(@imperfection360)